Japan Fast Indian Very Very Fast ( Must Read )

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.

On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.

Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, "What??… so expensive!"

There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

Source: from an email forward

Bank Robbery ( Very Funny Joke )

A man walks into a Bank, gets in line, and when it was his turn he pulls out a gun ..... and robs the Bank!... 

But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line: "Did you see me rob this Bank?" 

The customer replies ....."YES" The bank robber raises his gun POINTS IT TO THE CUSTOMER HEAD and BANG!!!!... 

SHOOTS THE CUSTOMER IN THE HEAD AND KILLS HIM! The bank robber quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the woman: 

"DID YOU SEE ME ROB THIS BANK????" 

The woman calmly responds . "No ... but MY HUSBAND DID!"


Source: from an email forward

New Idea - Build and maintain contract for Road.

In India building and maintains the road is the one of the most important area where there is immediate attention is required. Our government build very good roads in our country by spending a lot of money but forget to build good drainage system along side the road, which is costing a lot of money as well as inconvenience to the users of these roads.

When the monsoon (Rainy season) comes, our beautiful roads will become gutters due to lack of proper drainage system. Then the commuters have to use this bad road for next few months. Then our government will repair the road before the next monsoon. Than again the road will become pools in the monsoon. This cycle is continuing year after year. The only one who benefit from this process is the contractor who build the road.

Can't we find a solution for this disease.

I have an Idea. My idea is that while giving tender for building road, it needs to be a mandatory to make provision for proper drainage along side the road. I think it is better to give contract for "build and maintain road contract" for 2year, 5 year or 10 year. Which will not only allow them to design and build good road with quality material, which will last for years. I have seen roads which is lasting for many years without any maintenance or minor maintenance. Also I have seen roads which has a life time of 3 or 4 months. Why is this difference. We need to find out.

In "build and maintain road contract" the contractor needs to keep the road clean and beautiful. It is worth to give some extra money so that he can employ sweepers to clean the road. Private participation in building and maintaining road will improve the life of the road, which will reduce the inconvenience to the commuters.

I put forward this idea for your kind consideration.

Let us hope for a better India and Better roads.

New Idea - Stop wasting energy

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After having a good sleep in the night I woke up in the morning at 6.00 am. While brushing my teeth I noticed though the window, in the park there are lot of people doing exercise. Some of them walking, some of them jumping up and down. There are different people doing different kind of exercise. Every one in the park are trying to burn the calories.

They eat good food in the morning noon and night also had snacks in between. Now they want to burn the energy. May be they are working in a office, where minimum physical work is required. Most of them are not in good shape also. So they need to do something to burn the energy as well as to get a good shape. This kind of work out is not required for the people who do physical work during the day. Also most of them who do physical work are in good shape.

But it is very strange to see that those who are coming to walk in the park are coming by car or motorcycle. Why don't they come by foot and save energy. I can't understand this myth. If you know please tell me.

When I give a thought about exercising, I got an idea which can not only burn energy, but also this energy can save and convert it into another energy. My idea is that if we set up a gymnasium, with equipments which can change the human energy into electricity and sell it into the market which will give return to the gym as well as the people using it.

You may ask how? While using a exerciser bike, we can attach it to a electricity generator which produce electricity. People should come forward to design different types of such machines which attached to generator for doing different kinds of exercises. (That is the job of people who know the technology and designing)

The gymnasiums and parks where people waste their energy (burning calories) is a national waste and we need to stop it at the earliest by introducing new exercising machines which will convert human energy in to mechanical or electrical energy. If we start such project, the people can get a share of the energy they produced, which will motivate them to do it regularly and be in a good shape. It also reduce sickness and wast of money for medicine. Imagine a situation, people around us are in good health and shape while earning some extra income. It will not only motivate people to do their exercise regularly but also bring their friends also in to a habit of doing exercise which will reduce unhealthy citizens in our country. I hope very soon there will be advertisements like "Get paid for doing exercise" or "Earn money while being in good health" etc.

Let us extract energy from the food we eat. Don't allow it to go waste.

I putting forward this wonderful idea in front of the people who know technology so that this dream may come true.

The Guys' Rules

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

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1. Men are NOT mind readers.

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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

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1. Crying is blackmail.

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1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!


Just say it!

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1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

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1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

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1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

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1. You have enough clothes.

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1. You have too many shoes.

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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

Source: from an email forward

Choose to Be Happy at Work

Happiness is largely a choice. I can hear many of you arguing with me, but it's true. You can choose to be happy at work. Sound simple? Yes. But, simplicity is often profoundly difficult to put into action. I wish all of you had the best employer in the world, but, face it, you may not. So, think positively about your work. Dwell on the aspects of your work you like. Avoid negative people and gossip. Find coworkers you like and enjoy and spend your time with them. Your choices at work largely define your experience. You can choose to be happy at work.