Behavioral problems are common among individuals of all genders and backgrounds. Everyone, regardless of their position or sex, can be affected in different areas. While someone may excel in one aspect, they may struggle in another. You might notice behavioral issues in your spouse, while perceiving your friend's partner as well-behaved and perfect. However, if you were to ask your friend, they would likely mention setbacks and challenges they have encountered in their own relationship.
None of us are perfect, yet we often seek perfection in a spouse, child, or friend. Instead of trying to correct others' behavioral problems, it is more productive to focus on addressing our own.
Let me share a personal example. I used to have a habit of sneaking sweets from my mother's cupboard when I was a child. My mother tried to keep sugary treats out of our reach, but my love for them drove me to find their hiding spots. I became quite skilled at discovering and indulging in them without her knowledge. My mother even arranged the cookie box in a way that would reveal if someone tampered with it, but I was cautious and knew how to manipulate its positioning and lid. I had become quite the skilled thief.
Searching for cookies felt like an exciting detective adventure. I also had a tendency to consume excessive amounts of sugar, which led me to resort to stealing since my mother restricted my intake. Over time, this behavior became a bad habit and caused me trouble on numerous occasions.
Eventually, my behavior became problematic. As I entered the workforce, I noticed my colleagues bringing cookies to the office and keeping them in the kitchen. I would sneak in and take them, often getting caught in the act. I realized I needed to change. However, whenever I saw cookies, I couldn't resist the temptation. I desperately needed a change and felt guilty after each instance of indulgence.
Here's how I managed to break my stealing habit: One day, I made a firm decision to change. I told myself that I would no longer steal, starting from that day forward. Sometimes I succeeded, but on other occasions, I found myself reverting to my old ways. Each time, I felt remorseful and resolved not to repeat the behavior. It was a challenging journey, but gradually, over time, I managed to transform my behavior. I avoided going to the kitchen altogether, which helped me resist the temptation.
Even when I spotted cookie boxes, I would remind myself that they were not meant for me. Through determination, I successfully achieved the behavioral change that I desperately needed. I made every effort and eventually succeeded. I had read that if you consistently practice something for 30 days, it becomes a habit, but I cannot personally vouch for the truthfulness of that statement.
Although I have successfully changed my habit, some of my colleagues still suspect me of taking cookies. I have to bear the guilt as others take advantage of my past actions, but that is another story altogether.
Another behavioral problem I faced involved fantasizing about the opposite sex. Since my early adulthood, I would create mental images of women I encountered in my daily life or during my commute to work or school. This habit involved envisioning their bodies in a sexual manner. Unfortunately, it became a costly habit for me. Regardless of the situation, whether in class, church, on a bus, or a train, these thoughts would invade my mind. I initially believed that marriage would put an end to these thoughts, but they persisted even after tying the knot.
I encountered fellow students who could discuss sex but manage to control their thoughts. However, I struggled to do so, constantly battling with these intrusive thoughts. It affected my studies, causing repeated failures. I was addicted to these thoughts, which would distract me even when I was reading my books. I often felt guilty about these thoughts and attempted to change, but my efforts were largely unsuccessful. They significantly impacted my behavior, making me avoid interactions with the opposite sex. I sought refuge in solitude, indulging in unworthy fantasies and daydreams.
Desiring change, I made various attempts to resist these thoughts. However, the more I resisted, the more forcefully they persisted. It felt as though they grew stronger and more persistent with each resistance. In my quest for deliverance, I turned to the church and earnestly prayed for guidance. I noticed that these thoughts primarily emerged when I had idle time and was not engaged in any particular activity, such as during bus rides or when alone.
After purchasing a bike for my daily commute, I utilized that time to pray and focus on my faith. At work, I occupied my free time by writing articles for a website, which absorbed my attention and provided respite from these unwanted thoughts. In hindsight, I now realize how many hours and days I wasted dwelling on these unhealthy and inappropriate thoughts. Such fixation on sex consumes one's attention and prevents engagement in other meaningful activities. Occasionally, these thoughts manifested through behavior, but most of the time, they remained private due to the accompanying shame.
I discovered that engaging in creative pursuits and redirecting my thoughts toward productive endeavors, such as money-making ventures or other positive outlets, proved to be an effective solution. Additionally, harboring anger within oneself is another detrimental behavior, but that is a topic for another discussion.
The enemy employs various tactics to infiltrate our minds. He whispers subtle lies, tempting us with alluring fantasies and sinful desires. He preys upon our weaknesses, exploiting our vulnerabilities and planting seeds of doubt and rebellion. Satan understands that our thoughts are the starting point for our actions, and he strategically works to captivate our minds with worldly distractions, selfish ambitions, and impure thoughts.
By infiltrating our thoughts, Satan attempts to cloud our judgment and distort our perception of truth. He cunningly distorts God's Word, injecting doubt and questioning into our minds. He skews our understanding of right and wrong, convincing us that our sinful inclinations are merely harmless indulgences. He tempts us with immediate gratification, luring us away from the long-term blessings and spiritual growth that come from aligning our thoughts with God's will.
Furthermore, Satan capitalizes on our vulnerabilities and past experiences to fuel negative thoughts and emotions. He stokes the fires of anger, envy, and bitterness, manipulating our minds into dwelling on resentments and grudges. By magnifying our insecurities and fears, he seeks to paralyze us with self-doubt and hinder our progress in God's purpose for our lives.
To counteract Satan's schemes, we must remain vigilant and guard our minds. We are called to renew our thoughts and align them with God's truth. Through prayer, meditation, and the study of Scripture, we can equip ourselves with the spiritual armor necessary to resist the enemy's attacks. By meditating on God's promises, we can fill our minds with thoughts of love, joy, peace, and righteousness.
It is important to surround ourselves with fellow believers who can encourage and hold us accountable in our thought life. Together, we can offer support, pray for one another, and remind each other of the power and victory we have in Christ. Additionally, cultivating a lifestyle of worship and praise can help shift our focus from worldly distractions to the glory and goodness of God.
In the face of Satan's attempts to divert us toward sin through our thoughts, let us remember that we have the authority and strength through Christ to resist him. By actively surrendering our minds to the Lord, seeking His guidance, and submitting to the leading of the Holy Spirit, we can overcome the enemy's tactics and experience the transformative power of godly thinking.
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